goingnowherefast

I’ve officially finished week 3 of my 8 weeks of Math 141. (That’s precal I in weird math department terms) I’m registered for 142 (precal II) for fall quarter and have yet to decide if I actually want to take Calculus again. After AP Calculus BC in high school I swore up and down I was NEVER taking another math class as long as I live. That lasted 3 years. And sadly, math is NOT like riding a bicycle. Proof that most people don’t actually need to know how to calculate if you’re pouring a liquid into a tank at a rate of x and pumping it out at a rate of y what is the level in the tank at any given moment. And I doubt when your hypothetical 4 yearold is drawing on the walls, that you want to figure out the area under the curve. But I’ve yet to make a firm decision on what I’m actually doing with my life, so I figure it be a good thing to have some basic math to my credit in the case I suffer brain damage and feel compelled to pursue a sciencey field (yes, sciencey IS a word. ok, maybe not, but its obvious I’m not destined to be an English major).

So that’s the extent of what’s new with me. Math is going to kill me, nothing new there. And yet I’m still voluntarily taking it. What’s that say about me? Could be worse…I could be my brother. Griffin failed junior english last year and has been forced into local summer school in gig harbor. Apparently its an English/History class so that shouldnt be bad. Griff loves History. So he thought. Griffin has a teacher who he has explained “if I had for real. I’d kill myself” She teaches AP British History at some Gig Harbor High or another. She must be confused that its 11th grade she’s teaching, not first. She has assigned everyone “shoulder buddies” (I will spare you the less than pg comments we came up with at this one) withwhom they “share” and take turns reading to. As social as my brother is…he is obviously not comfortable with this. Infact, I do not like “sharing with my neighbor” in math, so I’m going to continue to do my “group work” by myself. Griff’s class is also taking a field trip next week to the history museum in tacoma. fun, fun. Yesterday he brought home “speak” which is his assigned reading. I may have asked “that’s the one where she’s raped right?” oops. Griffin was NOT happy. I think he’s going to tell his teacher tomorrow he remembers reading it afterall so he can read the alternative book, some basketball memoir. He holds his hands in a scale and goes…girl gets raped or basketball….hum. which do you think a 18 year old boy wants to read? Frankly, I agree with him. It’s high school. English teachers esp. should be trying to find something kids WANT to read. The point should be to have them enjoy it first. then bore the shit out of them overanalizing the importance of the color green. If you assign them book they dont want to read in the first place they fail junior english then have to go to summer school and take “field trips.” This is bad for everyone involved.

So, reading wise…. let’s see hum. Finished another Kathy Love book. Finished The Princess and the Hound which was suprisingly good. And yippee skippee. Like EVERYTHING came in this past week. I’m working on Queen of Babble gets hitched at the moment and debating whether I want to sleep/go to school/or go to work again until I finish. Maturity has kicked in. I went to bed at midnight, went to class this morning, and am working on homework instead of reading. by working on homework I finished one section…well half a section anyway…and started blogging/ chatting with tracr via gmail chat. Oh yes. multitasking procrastination. booyah. But resistance is wearing thin. and im going to need food soon. I predict I won’t get to anymore math for a while and I only have to be productive at work because my boss is there. but ill be thinking about Meg Cabot the entire time. Har! ok, random noises aside. Another day, Another Book.  

I’m obsessed with second chances, do overs, and in general fresh starts. Maybe its just a quirk easily explained by the lack of permanence in my life. I’m 21 (and a half as of yesterday) years old. I’ve lived in different 6 states (and even more different cities). That’s nothing compared to some people I know, but still. Try explaining that to people who have lived in the same town all their lives. If you’ve never packed up your life and started over you just cant sympathize. It’s hard building new relationships with people. These things take time. And it seems just as I think I get it down, my life is turned on end again. Therefore, I’m obsessed. I get restless, I want change…to the extent I sabotage. I push away. That feeling, that second chance, that fresh start, that chance to reinvent. I find it next to impossible to complete anything. The excitement of starting over outweighs the finishing. The only thing I find joy in finishing is another book. But then its more the act of checking that off the list and starting on the next thing.

I never could write in a journal. Never been successful with the blogging either. I’d see the pages I had filled with thoughts and memories and the restlessness would kick in. Most of all, I wanted to believe I had changed. Everytime I started a new journal, or move to a new town. I’d look back on who I was and I’d think…I’m going to do things differently. I’ve learned from mistakes. But again and again. I hadn’t, I haven’t. Guess this is the part where I accept what I have and make the best of it. But frankly, I’m scared shitless. This is new ground. Acceptance. ha. Wouldn’t that be the mature, adult thing to do?

On the other hand, whenever I opened a new journal to fill it with my thoughts I’d look at the blank pages and think “don’t fuck this up” Often times, I’ve gotten in the habit of never writting on the first page. Even in school notebooks. It’s like nothing I could do would be good enough. Because everytime I opened it, there it would be. The sign I hadn’t changed. Nothing was different. It’s like changing your hair after you get out of a bad relationship. What’s outward apperances going to change? It’s the inside I need to convince.

That aside…books. My only love and only constant in my life. (The pathetic quality to that statement is not lost on me) Finished Frewin Jones’ The Faerie Path and have started book two The Lost Queen. I like the story. It’s sweet. It’s a feel good story. The characters are likeable. The plot isn’t to predictable. Tracy and I were talking (har de har, i know…when are we not.) and I’ve decided the reason I love Stephenie Meyer. At the base…its a simple story. With just enough dramatic plot lines and brillantly developed characters to make it great. My friend Allison was disturbed by the books. She saw it as this impossible love story. What’s thats saying to the rest of us? Most couples don’t have a bella/edward kind of love. Nothing’s as sweet as fiction. For those of you that do. I hate you. jk. but seriously, how long you think its going to last? (that came out overly bitter.) I’ve seen love. And I’ve seen basic tolerance between two people to inconvenienced to actually seperate and, god forbid, be happy. Guess you get used to the having someone. It’s hard being alone again. And I’ve seen people sort of between the two (I think this is the majority of those I know.) I like the happily ever afters. It’s like the universe is in order. If only it worked that way.

Speaking of feel good, happily ever afters…oh yes, I’ve discovered more paranormal romance. Kathy Love (that is sooo not her real name, rolls eyes) I just finished My Sister is a Werewolf which is every bit as awesome as it sounds. heartbubbles. I read it out of order because well I like female protagonist and frankly [rest of post cut off because internet cut out, ugh]

looooooooooooong day. let me tell ya. I watched Doctor Who and Real World: Hollywood reruns with the dogs all day. I finished The Rites of Spring(Break) late last night (or early this morning, depending on how you look at it). And ugh! so, so good. Pity I have to wait until next summer for the final book. Speaking of final books, less than one month until Breaking Dawn!!!! So excited. so, so very excited.

So, funny story. (yes I realize I’m saying “so” a lot) Griffin had three two hour tours today. First, let me address two points. (1) Old people loooove my brother. Can’t explain it. (2) Griffin was born with a broken sense of humor. He’s living up to the blonde stereotype. (may I remind you he didnt know my first name until recently) Back to the story. So Griffin meet, and I quote, “the coolest old woman ever!”He goes on to explain how 28 years ago she was diagnosed with cancer and the doctors gave her 6 years to live. As Griffin explained, completely oblivious to the humor of the phrasing, she’s “twenty two years past her expiration date.”At this point we are all laughing so hard he has to stop the story. This then lead into a good 15 minutes of “what do they stamp that on your ass when your born?” which lead into my mother commenting if you tattooed “w”s on each check it would spell “WoW” which lead to all the things you could spell….cow, bow, pow, mom, etc. In which time griffin made clear by his confused expression he was lost. Then again that could have just been his face. Either way, my mother (god love her) decides to explain the “o” is your “sphincter.” I gave a disturbed shutter and reminded my mother she has been banned from using the word. After a few more “expiration date” jokes Griffin went back to his story. So he tells about how this lady has to carry an oxygen tank. So a few years ago when she decided to get a portable tank she got one shaped like R2D2. Griffin was ready to worship he was so impressed. Not only that. The thing was a digital camera too. Now that’s something you dont see everyday.

We watched Definately, Maybe tonight. I liked. I hadplanned to start derik’s bane today but apparently thats not the first in the series. I have to try to track down some obscure anthologies. Wish me luck. I’m going to try to make it to my friends tomorrow but I need to kick this funk first. I’ve never met these friends and I make a scary enough first impression without the puffy, snotty glory I’m currently sporting helping. oh, almost forgot. My new neighbors have a great dane. An 8 month old, Josie. I’ll post pictures soon. Goodnight. Another day, Another book.

It’s been a while since my last post, esp. when measuring in books I’ve finished (and started) since the last post. So let’s see, what’s new… 

Still waiting for the newest MaryJanice Davidson’s “Queen Betsy” book…even though it was published over a week ago. The library only ordered 1 copy and I’m currently 9th on the list. ugh! I did however read her “Fred the mermaid” series. (Sleeping with the Fishes; Swimming Without a Net) Both of which I highly recommend! I’m going to work on a page for Davidson under the Favorite Authors tab. I have plans to start Derik’s Bane this weekend. I also finished all the current novellas for “Betsy” and “Fred” since my past week.

Graphic novels. God love ‘em. So I’ve finished Ellen Schreiber’s latest. (waiting on book 5 still, not sure the publication status on that one) Recently the books got their own graphic novel spin off. Vampire Kisses:Blood Relatives, by REM. Overall I enjoyed it. I had issues with the tv cliffhanger quality of graphic novels but absolutely loved seeing “Raven” and “Alexander”. Her outfits rock. I wonder if I could pull off a gothic look. I like striped knee high tights and black lace. I mean, who doesn’t? Downside…graphic novels apparently take as long to finish as books. I have to wait until fall to read volume 2. Patience is the enemy. On the topic of graphic novels, I’ve discovered a more traditional manga by Kaoru Mori. I’ve finished 5 of the 7 volumes of Emma. Once I got used to the reading backwards style they are addicting. I finished 4 of the last night. I’m hesitating finishing volume 6 because we dont have volume 7. I’m at a good stopping point right now, so i think ill wait.

As for general fiction, yes I do read other novels (those not involving vampires, witches, faeries, werewolves, mermaids or other paranormal goodness) once and a while. I’ve been judging books by their covers once again…sigh. Don’t worry, that’s a good sigh. Last week I read Meg Cabot’s latest teen novel Airhead. The book is about a girl, Em, who is in a horrible accident in a mall. In a bizarre coincidence a teenage supermodel, Nikki, suffers a brain aneurism in the same mall. So doctors perform a risky, expensive, morally questionable brain transplant. So Em wakes up in Nikki’s body. Only she’s not allowed to tell anyone. Even her best friend (who she happens to have had an undying crush on). I loved the book! It has all the angst I love about Meg Cabot. My only complain… Cabot writes in trilogies and I have to wait until next spring to read more and the spring after that to finish. Speaking of Cabot, Queen of Babble Gets Hitched was published last week. Yet another books i’m impatiently having to wait for. 

Last of all (for the list of recent reads), I finished You Had Me At GoodBye by Tracey Bateman. This is the sequel to Catch a Rising Star and book 2 in Bateman’s “Drama Queen” series. The book could be catagorized as overall feel good christian romance. (that came out sounding kind of kinky) The book continues to follow the girls introduced in Star, centering on ”Dancy” as she struggles to find what she’s looking for in life. [thinking about it, I think I’m going to start a page for series romance novels…keep an eye out for that]

So…currently working on. The Rites of Spring (Break) by Diana Peterfreund. (I don’t have time to get into it now, but this will soon have its own favorite authors tab) On a personal note… The weather has been undeniably beautiful (but a tad hot for comfort, considering we dont have air conditioners) This weekend is the fourth of July! Tracy has invited me to a friend’s house and to “Freedom Fair” with them. According to Griffin, “Freedom Fair” has one of the top ten fireworks shows in the nation. “Tall Ships” is in full swing also. Speaking of Griffin, he has a job! And the summer school attending punk has a dream job at that! Griff is working for a new tour boat company. He has to do all the dull things like cleaning and maintence of the 6 seaters (which is the name only I informed and holds over 20 people). But he also get to drive and give tours on the Destiny and the Maritime. He’s scheduled to work the long weekend, but the coolest part. Griffin is going to get to see the fireworks show from the water. You couldn’t ask for a better view. Work is…..*grumble grumble. I find myself outgrowing Tacoma Public Libraries and feeling restless. I’ve settled in a routine and the predictablity of it all is boring me. The hours are killing me. It’s one thing to have to work a 4-8 shift two days a week then 3-6 the rest of the week. Problem is I go to school in the morning and then have to stick around Tacoma all day. And bridge tolls just jumped to $2.75. It’s another thing that for the shit hours its still only 17 hours a week, which barely gives me enough to pay bills and at such shitty times finding cooresponding hours elsewhere is next to impossible. I can’t work full time while trying to finish school, but It would be nice to have a few extra hours. I’ve started looking for work with Pierce County Libraries. In the end, better hours, better pay, new opprotunities… I’m finding it hard to justify staying with TPL. And my list of coworkers I can stand is growing thin. The aggression between me and the other pages has moved beyond passive. I’m full on imposing and I have many unkind thoughts to accompany it. I’m extremely bitter because its not fair. plain and simple. I’m sick of the finger pointing. I get done what needs to get done. Maybe if others, not naming names, did the same and stopped fussing over what I’m doing the hostility would die out. I’m extremely peaved to discover I’m the ONLY one working saturday. I’ve lost count of saturdays a certain someone has had off recently. So I emailed my boss yesterday and requested next tuesday off to focus on school. I have a big test coming up so getting home before 9 so I can actually get some homework done would be nice. That and I figure that gives Tuesday and Wednesday mornings for ”them” to put a dent in the backlog from the weekend and what I wouldnt be able to finish from the holiday.

Enough…focusing. its out of my system now. I’m going to do what I do and do it well, mind you, and ignore the “suggestions.” Being the “bigger person” and all that jazz. I’m going to try to attach pictures of the dogs. We filled their kiddy pool to play in last weekend. So funny. Winnie (the mutt) would have little to do with the water except for the occassional drink.  Matilda (the great dane) was endlessly amused. We discovered when we threw rocks in the pool she would stop at nothing to get them out. Matilda would dig at them with her paws and once and a while stick her entire head under water. I need to make a point of taking her to the dog park at marrimore so matilda can swim. I think she’d like that. Last time we went we had just adopted her. Ok, that’s about all I have to say. Another day, Another book.